Doomsday was created to challenge the notion of what a podcast could be, and now almost five years and over a million plays later, we have rediscovered some of the most traumatic, bizarre and most awe-inspiring but largely forgotten or unheard-of disasters from throughout human history and around the world. What started as a creative journey to make people throw up, quickly but it became a way to make people safer. And not just from flaming oil and flying debris and bull horns, but mentally and emotionally as well.
______________________________________________________________________________
LINKS TO YOUR FAV
POD PLAYER HERE
______________________________________________________________________________
LISTEN TO THE TRAILER HERE
______________________________________________________________________________
LISTEN TO EPISODES HERE
We’ve made a lot of fun of meteorologists on this show. Nope, that’s it, that’s the whole intro. On this episode: you’ll hear about the biggest meteorological blunder in US history that went on to change US history by killing a major American city; you’ll hear the absolute saddest story about orphans of all time; and you’ll learn about the worst cadaver recovery and fatality management in the show’s history.
Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 9 minutes where we discussed why Hurricane Gertrude and Fifi have to make room for Vince or Tupac; we talked about the biggest meteorological blunder in British history; PLUS you would learn about two tangentially related local-area disasters – The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927, and The Texas A&M Bonfire Disaster of 1999.
I have a mild preference for stories where the actions of an individual become crucially linked to a disaster. Not because I like blaming people. Frankly, the idea of the responsibility for a colossal death toll resting in the hands of a single individual is horrifying. And this was an insane death toll. Very few of our stories ever kill into the thousands like this. And like most disasters, they result from a combination of factors all working together for the worst collective outcome. Oh, and Helen Keller makes an appearance in this episode!
If you’re like me, when it comes to sporting events, the only thing coming out of the stands should be cheers and chants, and the only thing leaving the field should be the occasional ball or a t-shirt fired from a canon. We’ll come back to that. On this episode: you’ll find out which sports fans tried to kill Santa Claus; we’ll find out what stadium security personnel and Acorn Cop have in common; and we’ll meet the very first person to ever come back to life after dying on the show.

Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 9 minutes where we discussed the theatre of human pain that is professional soccer; you’d learn about the single worst fan over-reaction to the loss of a game in sports history; you’d take a listen through the incestuous, genital-laden world of European sports chants; and you’d learn why urine works better on tear gas than jellyfish stings.

They say at its core, soccer transcends language, class, or background. It’s all about people coming together with nothing more than a ball and some open space. All that will be true about today’s episode, except for the part about space. A lot of disasters are the result of multiple preventable causes coming together in the worst way. Nowhere is that more true than in today’s episode - but for the most part, it was the police. The Ghana Institute of Architects may have called the setting for today’s story a death trap, which is why I have petitioned to change the name to the Ghana Institute of Architects and Psychic Predictions. You’ll just have to wait and find out for yourself.

Celebrity guests include: multiple-injury lawsuit artist, Santa Claus; hot air balloon novice, the Easter Bunny; former wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, Michael Irvin; former Okaloosa County, Florida, Sheriff's Deputy, Jesse Hernandez, aka Acorn Cop; and President of Ghana, President John Kufuor.
Today I bring you the gift of horror, this time as told from a very personal level. Full disclosure, today’s story is a weird one, and you’re not going to believe the escalation of details, but that’s why we’re all here.

Today will be an all weather-related disastersode, and the cast of characters won’t count in the hundreds or the thousands – it will be just one brave man, who – spoilers – survives everything I’m about to tell you. A single man, pitted against what I believe you will think of as the worst day at work we’ve ever covered on this show.

I originally wanted to make this straight Patreon content during the recent Bangladesh Hail Disaster of 1986 episode, but at 40 minutes, you can understand why I spun it off into its own story – and I tried to keep it brief, but It could easily have been longer.

I can’t honestly think of anyone in history with the kind of mental resilience of gumption to make it through an experience this insanely testing without losing their marbles, let alone their life. William H Rankin will forever live on in the imaginations of those who fear flight and all aspects of air-travel with awe and terror – and I hope you enjoy his tale.
Today we’ll be attending the most prestigious vehicle race in the world. You think that sound exciting, well just wait for the off-roading portion. On this episode: we’ll take a look at the only car ever compared to a barbecue; we’re taking in the only sporting event in history that was later compared by the press to the holocaust; and you’ll hear about the first accidental public use of an unintentional horizontal guillotine.

Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 9 minutes where we discussed the upper limits of human reaction time; you would get to meet America’s most physically damaged stuntman; you would also be treated to more Dodge Caravan Math than you could fly a rocket bike over; you would learn about a non-sexual, full body invisible burning phenomena; and on-topic, we will look at the history of strange ways people have died at today’s events, just in different years.

I start this episode with a quaint tale of surviving a highway crash in a Ford Pinto of all things, cover you in minced spectator, and by the end I am going to teach you the horrific fate of drug abuser and former hockey legend, Tim Horton. In the middle, I’m going to do my best to show you in every way possible how automotive racing is the most dangerous sport imaginable, and then why your daily commute is 1,000x duller and even deadlier. RIP my three dead cars.
Together we’ve seen an awful lot of $@!# across time and space and it’s only natural that you would have questions – so here is your chance hear them answered. Maybe learn something a little gross, maybe a little interesting. This is my chance to publicly answer some of the friendly, odd and occasionally gross questions that feed in through our various social media channels.

On this episode: I’m going to look at franchising disaster into child-friendly fare; I’ll make a very child-unfriendly choice between two equally terrible ways to die; and I’m going to make a very stomach-unfriendly choice between two equally terrible things to eat.

No spoilers, but after much deliberation, a coin tells me I’d prefer to die by wood chipper than be killed by an elephant. I also review our entire history of episodes to figure out which would be the most entertaining for children and Times Square tourists. And in the end, I eat onions. Multiple onions. Like apples.
When you think of clouds and dangerous behaviours, you immediately think of getting zapped by lightning, or maybe tossed into another county by a tornado – but you never think you’re going to get repeatedly punched in the brain harder than Mike Tyson.
On this episode: you’ll learn why telling people the body is 80% water is misquoting a war crime; you’ll learn about the time it rained every day for 2 million years in a row; and you’ll see how a simple cloud can make you look like people tested baseball bats on you, and why you should basically wear a helmet everywhere all the time.
Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 15 minutes where we discussed why everyone was so afraid of Canadians during WWII; you’d hear the abbreviated history of British Evil, including the single greatest act of geographical terrorism of all time; you’d learn why the word moisture makes people want to peel their faces off; you would learn about a European Mountain Goddess who filled a lake with partially decomposed skeletons; and you’d get to hear an actual spin-off prequel disaster from today’s main tale.
My top three-ish list for biggest things falling from the sky go: meteors, then planes, then birds, with hail collecting the pewter medal for coming in fourth. This fits nicely into my “let’s visit more of the world” suite as promised, and more than a few of you have said weather-related episodes are your favourites. Well, it turns out, Bangladesh is beautiful – but it’s currently undergoing a governmental job quota scandal/rubber bullet block party which makes it just a tad unsafe to visit. That said, visiting unsafe places is kind of our whole gig, and at least we got to explore a kind of disaster we’ve never covered before.
It’s picnic season, and if you thought ants were the most annoying uninvited guest you could face, have we got a story for you. On this episode: we learn why Georgia and Australia are basically the same thing; we’ll learn why American freight and commuter trains make so many unscheduled stops; and we’ll describe a situation where stop, drop and roll loses all meaning.
Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 10 minutes where we discussed two other related disasters, including the deadliest case of mass curiosity in United States history; you would learn why we run like molasses in our nightmares; and you’d hear the tale of one man who has to be bound and drugged to keep him from jumping out of windows.
This came as a request from a listener that I was happy to oblige. It’s a terrible story, but one that reminds us that the shared experience of fear, loss, and uncertainty breaks down barriers that might have previously divided us. Trauma can bond and unite us in ways that ordinary life rarely does. Ironically, it’s the thing that brings us all together on this show. On topic, almost half the bridges in the continental US have been treated worse than residents of seniors homes, so be careful out there.
Celebrity guests include silk worm Utopiast, James Oglethorpe; colonial fairy godfather, King George II of England; political opinionist, Kanye West, and a very brief cameo from Jesus Christ.
Bad day at work episodes are some of my favourite. Sometimes you put out a brochure with a typo. Sometimes you ding the bosses car. Very rarely do you accidentally destroy a $30 million nuclear missile. On this episode: you’ll learn the history of human violence from Paleolithic shoving to nuclear annihilation; I’ll teach you how to sneak into a top secret missile silo; and there is a disaster in this episode – but unlike most – this one uses the phrase “blown skinless”.

Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 11 minutes where we discussed how frighteningly close we’ve come to accidental Armageddon and the one man who saved all of humanity; why the government spends $10,000 on a hammer; you’d learn how you can buy your own nuclear missile silo; and you’d hear the story of the fastest manmade object of all time which actually predates the Sputnik launch.

As far as bad day at work episodes go, this one has it all. Bad conditions, bad hours, bad moral, leaking poisons, radiation exposure, and a never-ending, sneaking suspicion, that no matter what, you’re probably going to die at work. We’ve never had a work-related episode where if everything goes to plan, everybody dies. Everyone alive at the time spent most days waiting for what seemed like the inevitable apocalypse to come, but some how it didn’t. And by the time you’re finished this episode, you’re going to believe as I do, that us all still being here and alive is a complete fluke.

Celebrity guests include the first proto-human to have their face eaten off by a porcupine; mockery of a bad Halloween costume and former President Richard Mulhouse Nixon; the entire Ocean’s Eleven heist team except it’s only actually you, and a very quick cameo from The Little Dutch Boy, who again did nothing, because he wasn’t real.
Some people think it’s weird when they hear travel by sea described as romantic. Between the vomiting and the contusions and the lacerations and the spinal injuries – I’m confident this episode will help you discover whatever the opposite of romance is. On this episode: you’ll learn why Captain James Cook left Hawaii with a knife in his head – and chest – and back and abdomen and face; you’ll learn the clothes-eating, skin-ripping, skull-flattening results of jumping feet first into an active hurricane; and you’ll hear about recovery efforts somehow more damaging than the original disaster

And if you were a Patreon supporter, you would also enjoy an additional 10 minutes where we discussed: • why in about 600,000 years New Zealand will be some of the most prized real estate in the world • we clarify why a corpse in a captain’s outfit isn’t a must-have after every disaster • you get a sad reminder that not all ship crews are created equal • you hear all about the Marmite Disaster of 2011 that killed over 20,000 people and injured another 8,300 • and you’ll learn of the horrific tale of the worst, most sea-sickening voyage of all time.

Full disclosure, we’ll make a little bit of fun of Australia in this episode, but less than a minute’s worth, I swear. And it’s all in good fun. In fact, it’s the only real fun to be had. I did this episode as a thank you to a listener from New Zealand, not having been there, and based purely off having read more individual rescue tales for the story than any other episode of this show to date, I have to say this. My first exposure to NZ culture was through a movie called Once Were Warriors. I’ll discuss it quickly in the episode, but it basically painted the country as an urban living hellscape of social problems. My takeaway from preparing this episode is that New Zealanders are warm, caring, brave and selfless. It was a pleasure to put together, and we’ll be back.

Celebrity guest stars include: filmmaker and hobbit enthusiast, Peter Jackson; knife-wound collector and world traveller, Captain James Cook; extratropical cyclone and buzzkill, Cyclone Giselle; sea-sickness pioneer and turtle collector, Charles Darwin; and aquatic-themed Diety and pro-nudist, Poseidon.
A mountain is just about the most stable and serene thing in nature. But every now and then, one says “not today”! On this episode: we’ll see how a volcano was more deadly to humanity than that asteroid was to the dinosaurs; we’ll meet the most oblivious reporters in history of news gathering; and we’ll see repeatedly what happens when human flesh comes in contact with glowing hot rocks.

Also, if you had been listening to this as a Patreon supporter, you would enjoy an additional 9 minutes where we discussed the top four deadliest volcanoes in history, the most famous person in human history to actually swan dive into a volcano, why being eaten by a bears or struck by lightning is better than what happens in this episode, the strange tale of 800,000 Icelandic farting sheep, and what accidentally cooking your friend’s brain smells like – including a quick cooking tip.

Even I was impressed with how gory today’s story turned out. There were way more, very specific details I could have shared about various injuries, but decided there had to be a line. As for how many other people will have their faces blown off in unpredicted volcanic eruptions, but one will be too many and a hundred won’t be enough.
If you’re like me and you would rather burst into flames than go shopping, have we got the story for you… Special shout out to my UK listeners! On today’s fresh new episode: we’ll see how cold and aloof British parents can be; we’ll see how bad psychology makes some shoppers believe they are practically immortal and fire proof; and we’ll see which planet in our solar system has better, more breathable air than was available in today’s story – and hint, it’s not Earth. Let me mention, there are actually three disasters in this episode.

The actual disaster in Manchester, another one at an IKEA right off the bat, and that poor Woolworths that Hitler hated? He hated it with a rocket. And the reaction of some victims of this disaster would lead to the creation of an actual area of study for academics interested in the bizarre behaviour of people in emergency situations. We've had people walk into burning buildings before because of trauma, but this will be something completely different. At the time this episode took place, it was the worst fire-related tragedy since WWII, but we'll also discover how this disaster changed the history of home and business safety and ended up saving thousands of lives.

Special celebrity guests include retail super juggernaut, Frank Woolworth; hated former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher; poison obsessed Swiss physicist, Walter Jaeger; worst mother in the world, Catherine McGuinn; British author and redneck enthusiast, George Orwell; former President Donald J. Trump; former Philippino dictator Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda; and the former wealthiest man in America, Sam Walton.
Someone once said that skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. Today, we learn that skiing can do a lot worse things to your face than knocking down a tree. On this episode: On today’s episode: we’ll see how hot dogging at work can destroy your soul; you’d forever remember the list of countries that make up the Alps thanks to MILFGASS; and we’ll see how the north American concept of giving out awards regardless of merit actually began with the military.

This is I believe our third trip to Bella Italia, and I don’t want to spoil the duplicitous little twist in this episode. There is a story arc of an attempted redemption from sin. Justice will be paper thin. There may be some awards handed out. It’ll get weird, however many times it needs to. If you've never been in a gondola in a wind storm halfway up a mountain, this is as close as you're going to get.

And by the time you're done, you'll wish you'd just spent an awful afternoon teetering over certain death. I you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 13 minutes where we discussed: • why I can’t sell stupid moon rocks • we meet the single least likely and least prepared athlete in the history of the winter Olympics • we find out who the funniest people roasting in hell are • and we reveal how Google is trying to convince us all to poison and kill ourselves
In this episode, homes and buildings will sadly be blown away and destroyed, and you’ll say “fireworks?” and I’ll say “it sure does”. On this episode: we look at the Netherlands pyrotechnic super boner; we explore the fact that a time bomb could be ticking away in your area without you knowing; and we’ll uncover one governments’ habit of sweeping disasters under the rug by cleaving a transport plane through an apartment building.

No real spoiler here, but this is one of those episodes where the bad guys carried on the shoulders of the courts like misunderstood anti-heroes, and the authorities in general show a fairly unhealthy disregard for human life. But to pull it back to a human level, these people had their overly-tall hairdos rearranged, and we coined a whole new phrase for this show: “gawk block”. I think I’ll make some gawk blocker t-shirts … one day.

And if you were a Patreon supporter, you would also enjoy an additional 8 minutes where we discussed: • why the Little Dutch boy was full of crap • you’d learn how many dead children it would actually take to plug a significant dam break • and you’d enjoy another whole minisode, all about the all-time deadliest firework related tragedy of all time which may come as a surprise – the wedding of Marie Antoinette to King Louis the XVI!
Balloons often represent happiness, but if you’ve ever had to explain to a crying child why their balloon flew away and won’t be coming back, you know that balloons are monsters. On this new and much requested episode: you’ll learn the origin of the phrase, “it seemed like a good idea at the time”; we learn why Cleveland is called the Mistake by the Lake, and we’ll see what is probably the most amount of damage one could possibly hope to achieve with balloons.

And if you are thinking of listening to this as a Patreon supporter, for the first time ever, there are TWO ENTIRE MINISODES within this episode that no one else will get to hear The first on the Cuyahoga River Fire Disaster of 1969; and a second on the Cleveland 10¢ Beer Night Disaster of 1974. We also look at the horrible history of promotions and publicity stunts that backfired catastrophically; and we learned why you never fire guns. About the actual main story here, we are definitely in a Cleveland state of mind, and I will tell you this one quote from the episode:

Literally no part of this came together like it was supposed to, and in keeping with Cleveland’s long habit of not having things go it’s way, one observer was quoted as saying “it's actually quite impressive how badly it turned out”. There are terrorist attacks that aren't as successful as balloon fest.
Hello all. Welcome to the very first Doomsday Automotive Review segment. I’ve never done one of these before, and most importantly, I shouldn’t have to, but here we are. It was originally released as part of bonus Patreon content, but I'm sharing it here with you now to buy me a few days to get the next episode together.
Since we originally brought it up, more Tesla Cybertrucks have wrapped around trees, smoked by semis, accidentally confusing the startup toggle for the self-destruct sequence. And apparently, the reason people are facing that five-hour restart time is because they activated car wash mode. Here’s the thing - as we said, you have to keep this thing as clean as hell - cleaner than anything else you own, and if you use it in a car wash without activating car wash mode - guess what happens? They void your warranty. Good thing no one who owns a Cybertruck needs to work - or they would be pretty fired for that kind of nonsense.
And the stock has continued to slump. Might have something to do with lying to shareholders about how many of these things they’ve actually sold. For clarification, they’ve sold less than half of what the original Back to the Future style Delorean did back in the day - and the Delorean is widely regarded a massive commercial flop.
Anyways I wanted to thank you all for listening. I’m sharing this with the bulk of my audience just because you deserve to be safe - physically and financially, and I am here for you. I’ll be back next week with an all new episode including two full minisodes inside the regular episode, special for my Patreon listeners.
Fun fact: Airplane accidents have a 95.7% survivability rate, according to the US National Transportation Safety Board. This story actually has a 99.02% survivability rate – but those that do die – you might want to limber your neck, because you’re going to be shaking your head. On this episode: you won’t learn to fly a plane but I will be able to teach you how not to fly one; we’ll learn what happens when you go skydiving at ground-level; and we’ll learn about a victim who was killed by her own rescuers - twice.
This story will showcase what became of a once proud company known for safety and innovation, and how they’ve become the laughing stock of airlines. Speaking of laughing, we’re also going to test your sense of humour in this one. For starts, yes, one of the victims has something unimaginable happen, and for no good reason - twice! And it’s not just the circumstances of the death that will get off to a weird start - it’s the media’s coverage of the event. I’ll tell you about that right at the end, and ho lee fuk is it a weird one.
Celebrity guests include: virtuoso and piano enthusiast, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; nervous former pilot from Airplane: The Movie, Ted Striker; one-man anti-terrorist task force and movie star, John McClane; and a quick visit from professional worriers, Serena Williams and Tom Hanks.

And if you were a Patreon supporter, you would also enjoy an additional 12 minutes where we discussed:
• Canada’s love/hate relationship with a retailer legally called Crappy Tire
• how Boeing became such an absolute fart of a company
• we recapped the beloved Christmas tale Die Hard 2
• we explored the parallels between this disaster and Airplane: The Movie
• and the world’s first safety segment within a safety segment where we cover what to do if you survive a plane crash and the universe tries to Final Destination you about it.
With apologies for the absense of new material, I'm a bit under it and overwhelmed - not much unlike the passengers of the OceanGate Titan Submersible just under a year ago!
This is a piece of bonus content which I described as "a somewhat rushed minisode that once again turned out to be not so mini". It was based on the best evidence and understanding of events that was available at the time. I think I can safely say no much has changed since then, so I stand by it.
I also stand by some substantially backed-up billionaire bashing.
I did my best to cut through the social media clutter and applied my own math as best I could - but the fact about this disaster is it is unprescidented. We're talking about physics and hydrodynamics at levels we have zero experience with, and no real way to test, or reason to try. So many things had to go wrong for this to happen, and I will happily singing-telegram-style deliver the blame directly to Stockton Rush's door.
In this new episode, you will learn:
• Just how fascinatingly irresponsible Stockton Rush was
• Why making fun of dead billionaires is good for you
• Exactly how unbelievably nightmarish the last trip of the Titan was
There will be math and science and gelatinous goo, all for you my loyal listeners.
If you got something in your eye, you should rinse it with water or eye drops to try and wash it out. Fair warning: there is not enough over-the-counter eyedrops in the world that would help with today’s story.
On this episode: we’ll learn all the ways your car wants to kill you, we’ll learn which member of the original Thanksgiving feast ended up with their head on a pike for 25 years, and we’ll find out what happens when you play rock paper scissors bumper plow.
This is the first episode we’ve done where the site of the catastrophe later became an annual sporting event recreating the event. The Frank Rockslide Disaster of 1903 stands as one of the most devastating and tragic events in the history of Alberta and was claimed to be the worst disaster that has even befallen any community in Western Canada.
Celebrity guests include: my wife, aggrieved driver; highway enthusiast, Dwight D. Eisenhower; historical revisionist, Abraham Lincoln;massacre enthusiast, Massachusetts Bay Governor, John Winthrop; and holiday-travel enthusiast, Dante of Dante’s Inferno fame.
And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 10.5 minutes where we discussed:
• landing planes on highways
• how bizarre the Mandela Effect is
• we look at the weird, dark origins of Thanksgiving
• we found out why TripAdvisor and Yelp reviewers hate Plymouth Rock
• we look into why people suck at driving
• and the history of the Cannonball Run
You ever wish you could just take all your worries and bury them away? Well have we got the episode for you…
On this episode: we’ll see what the loudest possible way to wake up is; we’ll learn how rocks can actually work better than scissors; and we’ll learn the three most powerful ways to eradicate evidence of, well, anything.
This is the first episode we’ve done where the site of the catastrophe later became an annual sporting event recreating the event. The Frank Rockslide Disaster of 1903 stands as one of the most devastating and tragic events in the history of Alberta and was claimed to be the worst disaster that has even befallen any community in Western Canada.
Celebrity guests include: miracle surfing baby, Gladys Ennis; billionaire playboy, C. Montgomery Burns; former Alberta Premier, Fred Haultain; torture marathoner, Sid Choquette; business magnate and former mayor of Butte Montana, Henry L. Frank; and his partner Samuel Wilford Gebo; Royal charter enthusiast, King Charles II of England; explorer and historical murder victim, Hudson; the 9th Duke of Argyll, John Campbell; doorag pioneer, Queen Victoria, and her daughter Princess Louise Caroline Alberta.
And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 15 minutes where we discussed:
• lawyers vs British bands
• we talked about how I used to write idiot letters to companies and the time I successfully conned an Industrial Spring company
• also the time it resulted in my being investigated as a possible threat to Canadian aviation
• the oldest companies in history
• the most powerful earthquake in Canadian history
• we spent some time on the Appalachian Trail hurting ourselves on the Mahoosic Notch
• looked at a town that will be on fire for the next few centuries
• and what happens when disaster tourism meets shotguns
What I’m about to tell you in this episode will sound like nonsense – shocking, highly flammable nonsense – unless you’re from California.
On this episode: we’ll learn all about what it’s like to work at what I’m hoping is the worst utility company anywhere in the Americas, we’ll take a look at some of the most backwards and evil business accounting of all time, and we’ll learn what happens when a sidewalk explodes beneath your feet.
There is so much to be frustrated about while listening to today’s episode My heart goes out to the simple tax payers of California, whose backs must bear the lashes of being reliant on one of America’s very worst companies for their life-sustaining electricity – without whom this episode could not be possible.
Celebrity guests include: gas pipe bomber Monserrate Shirley, lightbulb dunce Thomas Edison, groundwater crusader Erin Brockovich, not-Santa, and King Henry the First of England.
And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 10 minutes where we discussed:
• the incredible medical weaponry known as the electric eel
• how a fruit company ruled entire countries with an iron fist
• the unlikely corporate-destroying legal Vunderkind Erin Brokovich
• an explanation on why you’re worth more to your employer dead than alive
• we debate the ethics of working on the Death Star
• and we also climbed into a Hellmouth
We’re going back to Italy! But it’ll be hard to enjoy all the flavours and sites with your eyes and tongue swelling out of your head!
On today’s episode: we’ll learn all about Russia’s almost cartoonish fascination with murder, we’ll learn the best way to get that full-body boil-look, and we’ll learn all the ways your cleaning products can make you not make think so good
The last time we were in Italy we had a Tetraology of Terror, our very first interactive disastersode, and hundreds of thousands died in every way imaginable. We don’t know how many people died from the complications of this episode, but it’s nice to do a bloodless story where no one was turned inside-out every now and then.
And if you had been listening on Patreon, you would have enjoyed an additional 13 minutes!
• We discussed the cartoonish cloak and dagger world of Russian assassination tactics • the lifesaving and bowel cleaning properties of Olestra
• We discussed whether Catherine the Great had sex with horses
• We covered how disturbingly little vacation time North America gets compared to, well, the rest of the planet really
• We discussed the radiance of American superfund sites, including my semi-local favourite, Love Canal
• And I included a minisode within the episode telling the unbelievable tale of Times Beach, Missouri and their impossibly poisonous road spraying technique
In this quick Hail Mary of an update, I'm going to convince each and every one of you to support this show through our shared love of history, and horror, and the comedy that is trauma + time. We'll recap all the tooth-loosening adventures we've shared over the past year, and take a look at a medley of content from the past few months of PATREON EXCLUSIVE content. If this doesn't win you over ... I'll just have to try harder.
If you like the idea of this show continuing without the sound of my family and traffic noises in the background, you can join us at www.funeralkazoo.com/doomsday any time.
If you have commitment issues, you can also buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday
To quickly recap 2023:
• We took a rocket to the face
• We climbed the Empire State Building
• We fell down one of the world’s longest escalators
• We went to prison – until it burned down
• We went camping – until it burned down
• We drove off a bridge
• We fell through the roof of a factory while illegally watching a football game
• We surfed on toxic waste
• We blew up sewers
• And roller coasters
• And airplanes
• And one hell of a cannon
• We finally visited the Middle East, which wasn’t as much fun as we’d hoped
• We sank a boat
• We nearly choked to death on pollen of all things
• We even experienced an interactive tetraology of terror in 4D – a first in podcasting history
Not to mention all the mailbagging and minisoding
What hops downstairs, alone or in pairs, enough to block out the sun? Nothing good, I promise. I hope you brought your appetite for destruction – because this episode is going to bug you. On this episode: you’ll learn the horror of insect biomass, we’ll learn that some problems can only be solved with a knife and a fork, and you’ll need them because we are facing our very first extinction level event.
And if you had been listening to this on Patreon, we alsowould have discussed whether Aesop was a thieving jerk, we found out Maury Povich never loved you, we met the loneliest/most extreme insects in the world, we found out if having grasshopper superpowers would kill you, we looked at the weirdest historical plague ever, we discussed the most disturbing regional delicacies in the world, and we shared a recipe for cricket protein energy balls.
I never preach about environmental issues on the show, but you are going to hear about a kind of insect apocalypse that plays the weather the way my dad used to play the ponies. How big an issue will we be talking about? To this day, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, our story remains the largest concentration of living creatures, ever.
Celebrity cameos include the God of the Old Testament; biblical prophet Moses; the Angel of Death, Pharoah Ramesses II of Egypt; Aesop the Greek fable man; Frau Troffea, queen of the Strasbourg plague dance, and human guinea pig John Stapp.
It’s been a while since we did an episode with such cartoonish levels of bloodshed and awful behaviour. No joke. This is next level inhumane nonsense here, folks. On today’s episode:  We’ll see what happens to the body after spinning around an ocean-going paddle wheel, we’ll see how much woman and children were worth in a disaster before the 1900s, and you’ll find out how bizarre it feels to be stabbed while presumedly waiting to sexually assault drowning victims. And if you were listening on Patreon, you’d also learn how not to become a scurvy-riddled corpse, you’ll hear about the drunk driving death of the most isolated tree on Earth, we’ll see how many maggots or worms it would take to press into a porterhouse steak, we’ll discuss the worst, most blood-soaked maritime shipboard punishments, and we’ll even cover the tragicomic clown show that was the Costa Concordia crash of 2005. I’ve said more than a thing or two here that might give you pause - but let me also tell you, by the time this thing is done, there’s gonna be a parade!

This episode contains fart jokes about radiation victims. Viewer discretion is advised. On today’s episode: we’ll watch POWs compete for food in a House Hunters International style format, we’ll visit some of the more irradiated places in eastern Europe, and we’ll learn the difference between a burp and a fart explosion-wise. I’d also like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a PATREON member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 10 minutes longer as we looked into dead cold war spies, the Instagrammers of the Siberian Maldives, the British sci-fi show lifted directly from this disaster and placed on the moon - Space 1999, the awful reality of nuclear dirty bombs, we visited the single most nuked place on earth, we learn why meteors pretty much have no choice but to kill us, and I gave you a chance to get in on the ground floor of my bullet ant stinging business. The 1957 Kyshtym Disaster is recognized as the world's first truly major nuclear disaster, ranking third in severity behind only Chernobyl and Fukushima Daiichi. And yet, despite its incredible pedigree and importance, knowledge of it has faded or slipped purposefully into history’s dustbin, largely unknown to the rest of the world.

You’ve flown on planes that were late. You’ve flown on planes that experienced turbulence. You’ve even flown on planes with unruly passengers, but I’m willing to be you’ve never flown on a plane that melted. On today’s episode: we’ll do our best not to end up headless in prison, you’ll learn the most disturbing thing to ever unintentionally fall from an airplane in aeronautic history, and we’ll find out if Canadians are actually evil. I’d also like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a Patreon member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 15 minutes longer as we looked into why your maps suck, the death of flat earthers, the world-changing power of informercials, the Great Oman Cyclone of 1970, oh - I taught you how to become rich, and we touch on about a half dozen other ways people have died terribly in the east. So if you had visited Mecca at any point in the last 220+ years, there is a chance you might have seen anything from a cartoonishly flattened foot to a stack of bodies too tall to see over. But thankfully, a very slim mathematical chance. And what don’t we take on this show? Slim mathematical chances. Doomsday has the safest, most well-prepared listenership in the world. Has your second favourite podcast ever tried to save your life?

By popular demand, we are staying in the Depression Era and doubling down on the disaster. We’ve done blended and mixed disasters before, but welcome to our very first two-fer plane and elevator episode. On today’s episode: you’ll hear about the highest stakes game of keep-away ever, the worst kind of airline fuel to use as shampoo, and you’ll hear about a woman who broke a table in half with her face before setting a world record for not dying. And speaking of tid bits and tangents, I’d like to point out that if you were listening to this episode as a Patreon member, not only would you have heard it sooner and add-free, but this episode would be almost 10 MINUTES longer as we looked into the most unusual “self-guided tours” off the Empire State Building, how easy it was to score free smack in 1945, the legend of Killdozer, and a conspiracy-free take on how cheap real estate contributed to 9/11. By the end of this episode, you won’t believe how many people have flown into NYC - literally. The B-25 crash was so intense and bizarre, it actually pushed actual World War II off the front pages of newspapers – for about a minute. But, as does happen throughout history, it was all but immediately purged from the public memory by the bombing of Hiroshima just a week later.

We’ve been a lot of places together. We’ve flown on rockets. We’ve sailed the ocean blue. We’ve even been to Kalamazoo –but the one place we’ve never been before? Prison! On this episode: you’ll hear the details of the most unusually botched execution ever, you’ll learn what it must feel like to share an outfit with multiple people, and we’re going to teach you how not to get shanked. Is your other favourite podcast going to teach you that much? If you believe that buildings are imprinted with the psychic residue from all the murdered and tortured souls, then prisons must be the most haunted places in the world, and the Ohio Penitentiary must have been one of the most haunted prisons in America.

A lot of people say this is a podcast unlike any other. To them I say please enjoy an episode unlike any other. I proudly present a pivotal moment in the history of podcasting. The first ever fully experiential 4D interactive podcast! On this episode: we will revisit an apocalyptic series of historical events that befell Sicily, Italy all the way back in 1693 – and it’s all natural. What it may lack in rich, historical detail it will more than make up for with the satisfaction of actual participation. To make the experience feel more four dimensional, here is a short list of items you will need to participate fully: a wheelbarrow, a clothes dryer, several pair of shoes, buckets of dirt, sand or soil – probably a hundred pounds of each, a strong fan,10 lbs of baking soda, 8-10 litres of white vinegar, a water bed bladder, probably a hose, definitely a mop, an axe or machete but for the sake of convenience, a large kitchen knife would probably do, one 4x4 or off-road appropriate vehicle and one set of gloves.

Magical isn’t a term we throw around loosely on this show, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard it used in a sentence about a campground, yet here we are. Gather around the campfire, fill up on tapas and sangria, listen to music under the stars and fall asleep to the sound of waves crashing in the background – and get one of the most devastating accidents in Spanish history. On this episode: you’ll learn the best way to transport flaming materials, you’ll see what happens when a company cuts corners in lieu of safety, and we’ll see how google makes things even worse. Whether I’m telling you about a story from 1641 or 2087, the common denominator across all space and time is a company looking to save a few bucks ahead of safety. And Spain has a unique legal protection called the “Right to be Forgotten” to help protect people in terrible circumstances - but it couldn’t help anyone in this episode.

People have asked, of all the disasters in history, if I could travel back in time to witness any disaster, which would I choose. I’ve never been able to answer the question – until this episode. On this episode: there will be no death. There will be no dismemberment. And the only blood will be coming out of people’s ears. This is a one of a kind minisode celebrating the greatest display of patriotic fury of all time! I never overly cared about firework shows, but this wasn’t some simple firework show – this was a once in a lifetime spectacle that you experience with every sense you have. Happy birthday America! And the Phillipines of course. Celebrity guests include 16th Century rocket chair pioneer Wan Hu, local TV regular H.P. “Sandy” Purdon, and time-travelling guitarist Marty McFly.

Emerson once said “the Earth laughs in flowers”. Well in this episode, the ferocity of their attack will be compared by survivors and investigators to that of a terrorist incident. On this episode: you’ll learn about the cuddly fur baby with the strongest bite in the world, we’ll hear about an actual Doomsday cult with more resources than Al Qaeda, and we’ll learn what to do if you found your throat tightening up like an anus. In a country with so many lethal predators flying, swimming and wriggling around, we’ve added plant life to the list of things that will actually take a go at you and helped unlocked a new fear for the Australian people. Let that sink in. Celebrity guests include acclaimed author Bill Bryson; the entire News Nine's Morning Breakfast Show lineup with Karl Stefanovic, Sarah Abo, Alex, Brooke, Richard, Tim, Slyvia, David and Jayne; former Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt, former American President Jimmy Carter, and Japanese doomdsay cult, Aum Shinrikyo.

There’s an old saying; Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs…but it's your choice to either enjoy the ride or die screaming yourself senseless. On today’s episode: we’ll settle a long-standing misconception about who parties harder: American teens vs British teens edition. We’ll see what happens when you put degenerates in charge of public safety, and we’ll see how a janky them park ride can lead to a janky spine. It’s always amazing to me when we discuss a “forgotten disaster” that turns out to be the biggest of its kind in history, and this tale is no different. Whether trapped on a ride while the kid in the control booth sleeps one off, or another fair goer punts your head into the children’s area, rides are inherently dangerous, and that’s what we love about them – just not so much the details.

This episode stinks. And no spoiler here, but if it looks like a duck and smells like a duck and it’s highly flammable like a duck… Yes, it will seem obvious, but just wait and see. On this episode: we’ll investigate some smells that rank up there with putrefying corpse, we’ll talk about some limbs that act more like meat-filled wind socks, and we’ll visit Mexico’s underworld and face something more dangerous than gators, morlocks or chuds… In all of our tales, something extreme or terrible happens and we cope with the consequences as they come. What about an event where something impossibly bad happened repeatedly, with no warning, and no way to escape or guess where it was going to happen next. This is yet another in a long line of episodes where people placed in positions of authority make decisions that end up turning an entire voting block into ghosts. Celebrity guests include the Aztecs, the Atlanteans, my neighbour Mike, and the Virgin Mary.

There’s a lot to hate about flying, and one of the biggest complaints has always been fellow passengers – but the biggest complaint in this episode will be passengers from a competing airline. On this very special 50th episode, we’ll be visiting America’s most homicidal National Park, you’ll learn the early forensic value of “carbonized smears of paint and metal”, and we’ll see what happens to the body during and after cartoonish levels of impact violence. Mark my words, one day the Grand Canyon will be fenced to stop people from visiting the bottom unintentionally. No doubt, of all the sites we’ve visited together, this one is the most captivatingly beautiful and blood-thirsty. Celebrity guests include neolithic cavemen, early American adventurer John Powell, park enthusiast Ron Swanson, and that guy who downed a British Air flight with the power of his poop.
We’ve covered a lot of unusual and unexpected disaster on this show, and this will be a new one – and what makes this one stand out is how quickly it escalates. On this episode, you’ll unlock a brand new fear you didn’t know about before, we’ll talk about the most panic inducing cross-training exercise ever, and we’ll teach you the best way to not get eaten by a machine. There is a special kind of fear around disasters that most often happen because maintenance is expensive and people are sometimes trash. This one is called one of the darkest days in the history of the world’s busiest subway system. Celebrity guests include historical figure Josef Stalin, early pioneer of DIY flight Icarus, and the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics Dancers.
You may hate your job. Your job may hate you. But does your job actively pour hate and death over your entire community? In this episode: you’ll learn how insurance companies and the courts use God to ruin your day, we’ll hear about a disaster you can recreate in your own home using a washing machine and rocks, and you’ll see how you could use a river snake as a comfort animal. Most of our stories are told in the spirit of “we can learn to be safer” – and for the most part that means from fire or shrapnel - but some of our stories are told to make sure you know your elected officials can be as dangerous if not more dangerous than a natural disaster because politicians are replaceable and preventable! Celebrity guests include light-hearted guitarist John Denver, former President Richard Nixon, and the cartoonishly evil former Governor of West Virginia Arch Alfred Moore Jr.
When I say “sporting disaster” most immediately think of that time your team crapped the bed so hard. Well today, we’re going to make a new memory that’ll make your old memory feel more like a page out of your dream journal. On this episode, we’ll explore the blood smeared history of NCAA college football, you’ll learn the quickest way off a building, and we’ll discuss what to do if your brain catches on fire – figuratively, not literally. This episode is a celebration of the history of Football, from humble origins kicking a rock 2,000 years ago to the pigskin to the flying wedge retirement maneuver to the Big Game disaster, which was and remains to this day, by a considerable margin, the deadliest sporting disaster in American history - and no one’s ever even heard of it. Celebrity guests include photo-memorographic President of the United States Teddy Roosevelt, enthusiastic injury artists Napoleon McCallum and Joe Theismann, the Little Rascals and Cirque de Soleil.

No one loves work functions, but office booze cruises are worse because there’s no sneaking out early. But you’ve probably never been on a work cruise so bad it led to the death of 635,000 people? In this history changing episode: you’ll learn the death-cries of different presidents, we’ll learn how a cannon can have more than one business-end, and we’re going to play the worst game of ship-board body-part Twister that literally changed the course of American history forever. This is one hell of a story. It had everything – love, political intrigue, explosions! But it also has what-should-be shocking levels of personal greed, jealousy and consequence. We’ve done a few episodes now where people in authority makes rash or bizarre decisions that end up getting a lot of innocent people replaced by urns. Celebrity guests include more former Presidents than you could fight with two hands, blabbermouth socialite Dolly Madison, Swedish unicorn John Ericsson, Headless Horseman associate Ichabod Crane, would-be knife murderer John Potter, and exploded mill owner Cadwallader Washburn.
Florida deputies once pulled over a weaving driver. His excuse was he’d been drinking and then was this squirrel in his shirt that kept biting him. Oh, the things you’ll see on Florida’s roadways. Or won’t…In this very special 1980’s themed first-time-in-Florida episode, we’ll find out how seatbelts help prevent blood stains, we’ll see what happens when you drive underwater, and we’ll have a special second safety segment covering Florida road etiquette. We’re going to cover some strange and awful stuff here, but I won’t pick on Florida. I wish I lived there myself. And if I say “Florida man arrested for DUI after mistaking bank drive through for Taco Bell” or “Florida man worried about vampires burns down his house” – remember, Florida holds a monopoly on bizarre behaviour, but it doesn’t hold the trademark. Celebrity guests include Florida Man, Michael Jackson and God himself.
In this very special return episode, we’re going to discuss the concept of “what goes up must come down”. They’re never really specific about where or in how many pieces. On today’s episode: we’ll discuss the most blood-thirsty game of roulette ever. You’ll see what happens with 7,500 Dodge Caravans worth of fuel explodes within walking distance. And you’ll learn why you should never put your kids in a sewer, no matter how great of a parent you are. The safety segment from today’s story is designed to teach you about rocket safety, but since I can’t teach you everything in one short podcast, my best advice is to relisten to every past episode, tell a friend, then quiz each other. Celebrity guests include missile designer Sergei Korolev, civilian astronaut Christa McAuliffe and the biggest testicles in Chinese State News.

We’re returning to the airwaves by heading back to Victorian England in this very special end-of-year Christmas minisode, so bring your hip waders, and your breathing apparatus – there will be feces. On this very special mini catch-up-sode, I’ll explain to you why this year earned a feces-themed minisode. I’ll do it while reminding you why Victorian England sucks so bad. And although you won’t learn a lot about feces, you will hear a lot about them. I’ve returned from my self-isolation. I needed to work on my mental health for a bit to get my head straight. I wanted to offer my most heart felt thanks to all those who reached out or donated during my hiatus. Words can’t express my gratitude, but I will try. You’ll have to listen. On a more serious note, if you or someone you care about is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, understand that you are not alone, and there are people ready to help. They’re only a Google search away. Or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

On today’s very special episode, you will hear a tale of love and heroism unlike anything we’ve ever told. But at the same time, you’re going to hear about people riding over waterfalls in rubber balls and barrels and jet-skis. So yeah – it’s an emotional mixed bag of an episode. 

On this episode, we’ll discuss the blood thirstiest natural wonder in the world – and it’s not the one you’d think. You’ll learn what “coming to grief” means, and you’ll hear about people being dashed on rocks and drowned in every creative way possible.

There are so many stories of disaster, tragedy and loss at Niagara Falls that we could spin this off as an entire season. Celebrity guests include poet Henry Longfellow, safe driver Charlie Church, professional barrel rider Annie Edison Taylor and a return visit from the Patron Saint of Barcelona, Saint Eulalia. On a more serious note, if you or someone you care about is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, understand that you are not alone, and there are people ready to help. They’re only a Google search away. Or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

If you hate the idea of horses being injured as I do, then let me say right off the bat that there will not be a single horse injured during this episode. I promise they are pretty much the only things NOT getting hurt in this episode. Welcome to the Happy Valley Race Course. The unhappiest happy valley in the world. 

On this episode, we’ll discuss Britain’s atrocious people kills, you’ll hear Occam’s Razor used as a verb, you’ll hear about people Tetrised into debris and what happens when your arms become a Halloween prop. 

This one took a while because I took a few sick days but I couldn’t and wouldn’t let that keep me from sharing this fresh new tale of whoa and hell with you. Most disasters result from a combination of factors all working in unison. Today’s disaster is almost more of a “whoa, that just happened” style disaster based on poor planning and potential sabotage.

On today’s episode, we’re going to play the biggest game of the floor is lava in California history. But there won’t actually be a volcano in this story. That would make so much more sense. 

On this episode, we’ll discuss the difference between evacuating your home and evacuating your body, we’ll find out why you don’t mix crude oil with electricity, and we’ll discover a weather phenomenon strange enough to remove your eyebrows. I tried to do the math on the probabilities working against this episode even happening, but ended up with odds somewhere near 1 in half a quadrillion. That makes this the most statistically unlikely multi-combo disaster we’ve ever discussed.

Depending where you live or grew up, there’s probably some dark moment of local historical injustice you’re not overly proud of. On this special bonus not-so-minisode, we’re going to check out mine! 
On today’s special extra not-so-minisode, you will finally learn why you hate clowns so much, you’ll find out why early Toronto had so many teeth on the ground, and we’ll discuss fighting techniques included but not limited to: thumbing people’s eyeballs out, fish hooking the cheek, and biting people’s noses and ears off. 
If you asked any of the clowns or the firemen about their role in history, they would have been all “do what now?” – but the fact remains, and fellow Canadians, hear me – the most pivotal moment in the social evolution of our country was a brothel fight.

If you think going to the bank can be a hassle, and always wondered what’s the difference between flammable and inflammable, have we got a story for you. 
On this episode, you’ll hear about the worst bank deposit in aviation history, you’ll learn why you should never parachute without practice, and you’ll learn the medical effects of reverse-telescoping your legs into your abdomen. We will rediscover the tale of America’s very first aeronautic disaster – an incident as unusual as it was upsetting – which was then minimized by other events in a heavy news cycle. And you will learn why today there are more astronauts than blimp pilots in the world.

A lot of people have fears about flying: turbulence, engine failure, the sheer this-is-too-heavy-to-stay-in-the-air of it all, but we’re going to tell you a story about a whole new way to die in the air you didn’t even know about. 
On this episode, you’ll hear about people being reduced to burning tatters, you’ll learn why your $200 IPod Shuffle is more dangerous than lightning, and we’ll even maybe teach you the best seats for surviving a plane crash, sort of. This is one of those episodes that remind us that the only thing that makes it bearable is the evolution of safety developed in its wake. In this case, a lot of people had to die so you could land safely at airports without even thinking about it.

We always say the only upside of a disaster is the legacy of safety from the lessons learned – but not today. I don’t want to spoil the surprise here, but I think you’ll find today’s story, most riveting. On this episode, there will be your typical mutilations, manglings and scissorings. You can try to imagine being repeatedly cut in half but in three dimensions. And we’ll play a game of Would You Rather fall 150 feet onto rocks, or find yourself pressed into mud and suffocated. This is a good episode if you’re afraid of water, heights, industrial accidents - it’s a rich tapestry, and it pays homage to the ridiculously overly-popular TikTok about not getting water up your butt. Celebrity guest stars include French explorer Jacques Cartier,  Prime Minister of Canada, Sir Wilfrid Laurier, celebrity engineer Theodore Cooper, Prince of Wales Edward the Eighth, and the Kahnawake Skywalkers.

You know the story about the guy who started with a paperclip and traded up to a Porsche? This episodes like that, but replace paperclip and Porsche with cancer, and here we go. On this episode – not a lot of heist stories turn into full-on nightmares, so this is our first sort of cross-over crime/disaster episode. We’re going to talk about non-sexual swelling and burning, we’re going to see a punch-up at a funeral, and by the end someone’s arm is going to bubble off. You’ll learn the dangers of simple scavenging when combined with the disappointing Brazilian education system back in the 1980s, you’ll learn how barfing and butt stuff can foretell an impending apocalypse at home and abroad, and celebrity mentions include viral sensation, the Ikea Monkey; environmental cartoons Captain Planet & The Planteers; and Former Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford.
Today, we’re going to make you afraid of water, and invertebrates, and working. We’ve covered a lot of Bad Day at Work episodes, but this is by far the worst one we’ve ever done, and we don’t mean just by blood volume. We mean by pure existential horror. Enjoy! On this episode, we’re going to explore a job so difficult, there are less than 400 people on the planet who can do it, you’re going to hear about the forced the expulsion of his thoracoabdominal cavity, and you’re going to hear the term meat balloon used contextually. This is hands down the most existentially horrifying episode we’ve done to date. It all takes place in a moment, and it looks like something out of that annual La Tomatina tomato-based street fight they hold in Spain. Celebrity guest stars include James Cameron, Jaques Picard, World Record holders Herbert Nitsche and Ahmed Gabr, and Nils Olav III the Penguin.

No matter what the scariest thing you’ve ever seen on Halloween, it was a baby food sampling party compared to what we’re about to talk about. You’re going to hear about people crushed under concrete two feet thick, a particularly instructional kind of trauma, and the generous help of volunteers trying to straighten out twisted limbs to make people appear more comfortable. On this unusual episode, we’re going to deal with more gas than you could way a hockey stick at. We’re going to try and convince you smelling farts are good for you, We’ll learn about propane safety and why it’s important for public events to start on time. What we’re about to talk about has been called the most deadly accident in Indiana State History and special guest stars include The Beatles.
If you’ve ever watched someone using drugs while going to the bathroom on a train, you’ve seen some pretty egregious stuff, but I can promise you’ve never seen anything like this before. It’s the Malbone Street Disaster of 1918. On this episode, you’re going to hear about people performing acrobatics through a cacophony of sharpness. And debatably, it only gets worse from there. And it all takes place in the dark. We have had plenty of episodes in the “bad day at work” category, but this one, woof. The Malbone Street Disaster was so awful, they buried and renamed everything around it so no one would ever have to think about it again. And yes, it’s horrific, but on the plus side, we’re working with the MTA to make sure you’re prepared for anything from light groping to MMA practice to grand larceny the next time you find yourself in an NYC subway.
Do you like mountain roads, claustrophia and not breathing well? Have we got a road trip for you. We’re visiting Afghanistan, but we’re not visiting for the breathtaking beauty - we’re visiting for the unrelenting brutality. On this episode, you’re going to hear about just about every bad thing that can happen behind the wheel. You’re not going to hear a lot of impact injuries, but there will be fire and people will suffocate as many ways as they can. This is a bit of a special episode personally, in that we are revisiting the Soviet Union’s disastrous invasion of Afghanistan in the 1980s. And now, forty years later, Russia has invaded Ukraine. In 1940, my father’s family was forced from his ancestral farmland in Ukraine by Russians. If not for that, this podcast might have been recorded in Ukrainian. I stand with the people of Ukraine, but I also stand with the people of Russia who recognize this invasion for what it is.

Today we’re going to cover a ghost story, which is cool, but most of the ghosts are women and children, so actually I actually would have been more comfortable starting with a child labour joke. You’re going to hear a lot about bosses and employees and employee rights and work-life balance, and in our history of bad day at work episodes, this one is special. That said, you’re going to hear about people Tetrised into debris and then set on fire.
We’ve talked about some emotionally draining and painful disasters, but having researched hundreds of disasters, I was touched by the level of humanity displayed in this one. What we’re about to talk about has been called The Worst Industrial Accident in Massachusetts History and one of the Worst in American History – which is saying a lot.


You’re about to hear a story about the most unique and deadly natural disasters to ever hit the US that no one was allowed to talk about. An amazing story that started out as a draft. This is the first story we’ve done where the resulting damage can be compared to laser damage from space, so you know you’re going to hear about a lot of people Hereditaried and bisected and a whole host of things so awful most didn’t make it into the show.

On today’s episode, we’re talking tornados, but we’re not focusing on the science. We are focusing on a tornadic ability that freaked me the hell out, and I think it can do the same for you. Celebrity guests include world record holders Matt Suter and Usain Bolt, Tetsuya Teddy Fujita, Dave Thomas of Wendy’s fame, Orville Redenbacher,  Roger Edwards of the National Weather Service, and God - or at least God’s Finger.

Elephants make a trumpeting sound to indicate excitement, aggression or distress, and it’s loud enough to hear up to six miles away. You know where you don’t want to hear it? Six feet away. On this episode, we’re going to explore several new ways to die, most of them bloodless. You’re going to find out how to out-smart one of the smartest creatures on the planet, and this will be the second time you’ll hear Kool-Aid Man used as a verb. You’ll learn how dangerous elephants can be compared to other actual predators. You’ll learn ho much they can bench with their nose among other things, and celebrity mentions include billionaire Tom Siebel, boxer Mike Tyson, Olympian Usain Bolt, Kana the Tiger, and three blind men of ancient lore.
On today’s special holiday Disaster Moviesode, we’re visiting a story so unbelievable, NASA actually uses it as a diagnostic to pre-screen test applicants. They study it for inaccuracies. The record so far is 168. Let’s see how we do. We’re revisiting the cinematic spectacle of Michael Bay’s 1998 end-of-the-world Action Adventure Sci-Fi Thriller monster smash hit, Armaggedon. You will hear about people being ejected into space by their faces, and turned into paté by meteors, but not everything you hear today will necessarily gel with your understanding of how science or human behaviour I supposed to work.
You will however, learn your survival odds after being jettisoned into space. You’ll learn about your anus and urethra, and how space shuttles, asteroids and even simple geography do and do not work. Special guest stars include a urine soaked Alan Sheppard, John Glenn, Michael Clarke Duncan and Ben Affleck.

In space, no one can hear you scream. But on the launch pad? You can yell, scream, or bleed all you want. No one will hear you there either. For example, on today’s episode, you will find out how rockets work, and how they don’t work. You’ll hear about people vaporized into flaming mists and others faced with a kind of toxic shock syndrome you don’t hear about in commercials. You are going to learn about one of the worst managers in history, and a whole bunch of not-to-do’s about skin care. You’ll learn a few German words for jerks who had it coming. It’s a disaster so stupendous, it changed the course of human history and no one was allowed to know about it.

Buck up, idiots. Today’s episode is almost guaranteed to make your next workplace screw-up seem a little less screwed up. 
This is not normally the podcast you play around kids.or while eating, but today’s episode is different. No blood loss. No body count. What happens in today’s story is unbelievably dramatic, but no one gets their face lazered off, or turned into steam, or crushed to death or any of the horrible endings people face repeatedly through the history of this show. You will learn that math is hard, that gravity don’t care about your feelings, how to survive a fall without going to parachute school, and the best practices for outwitting a lake that is trying to eat you - all with one of the biggest work place screw up stories of all time. There will also be mentions of Joe Jackson - not the one you’re thinking of, Brad Pitt, and Penn & Teller.

In 1917, job and housing markets in the UK were really blowing up. On this episode you will not hear me mispronounce Trinitrotoluene for half an hour, but I’ll probably mispronounce it anyway. You will also hear me describe people losing their heads. Or parts of their heads. Or limbs. Or lives. But definitely bowel control.This is the story of the single largest explosion to ever occur in the United Kingdom - which is saying a lot. Amazingly, because today’s disaster involved the military, no one heard about it for fifty years. It’s the needs of the many vs the needs of the view in this explosive episode of Doomsday.
Of all the ways people throughout history have died while mining, todays will probably be the most “impactful”. This episode recounts the most statistically-unlikely disaster in history, complete with two safety sections, but you’ll also hear about people referred to as gravy without lumps, and flesh described as scattered. You’ll also hear about two Guinness World Records, and a celebrity cameo from Nelson Mandela himself. You will also learn your odds of dying from the random things you spend too much time worrying about. You’ll also learn the best possible way to survive a hypothetical free fall in an elevator, and we have a special safety section covering panic attacks.
Most people wouldn’t think a burp could kill you. By the time you finish this episode, you won’t be most people. This episode has everything: fish farts, exploding lakes, tennis pro Vitas Gerulaitis, ancient African spirits, and a 0.0075% survival rate. You’ll also hear about people’s eyes popping out of their sockets while their skin blisters from within, and others who just drop dead like their strings were cut. But you will also learn how to protect your family against the non-spoiler cause of this disaster. Of course, you may also be left wondering why you never knew the ocean exploded before.
Back in the day before marketing appeared in washrooms, projected on buildings, geo-targeted to your phone and dragged on banners across the sky, people could raise brand awareness by simply blowing things up. This is the story of the worst marketing stunt in American history. With anything, like music or social media or free speech, no form of communication is inherently evil. It all comes down to what you do with it. What will the cast of today’s story do with it? On this episode you will hear about skull fractures, eye gouges, steam burns, people playing catch with flaming metal and showers of boiling water. Celebrity cameos include human monster PT Barnum, Dutch physicist Christiaan Huygens, and singer Susan Boyle.

Massachusetts has never been the most friendly of States. From their baseball fans to their witch burners to their license plate motto writers there is a history of bitterness. Today’s story however, is going to be a little sweet. This gets categorized more into the bizarre and awe-inspiring than forgotten, but the level of detail scooped here will make it feel fresh and new. No joke, this episode is such a complete and unconditional disaster which so little opportunity to escape or help yourself, you’ll find our actual help segment helpful, but not in the normal way. On this episode is full of surprises. Like, what is the last part of a body fish will eat. The answer will surprise you And you’ll hear about a new take on the old cut-a-person-in-half magic trick. Celebrity cameos include Sir Isaac Newton - who once put a needle through his eye - and Usain Bolt - who dies terribly and unnecessarily.
We’ve talked about the Cold War before. But today we’re going to talk about a very cold war. Just sit back, slice open a Taun Taun, and let’s get into it. We say the only value of any disaster is what can be learned to safeguard people in the future, but in this case it was very much a matter of people dancing on the lip of the volcano. We’re going to talk about a disaster so phenomenal it was erased from history. On this episode we will describe shattered bodies with blue faces, people having their insides turned into their outsides, and pieces of people and equipment intermingled. I will also premiere a secret psychic force I’ve been quietly developing in my down time. Celebrity cameos include Franz Ferdinand and Utzi the Iceman.
According to the NTSB, airplane accidents have a 95.7% survivability rate, and normally that would be great news. Try telling that to the passengers on today’s episode. As promised, we make our inglorious return with a welcome back minisode about the most unlikely plane crash of all time. A disaster so bizarre it actually became the worst case scenario in ICAO Aviation testing. We are headed to Africa to answer the question: what has eighty teeth, bad breath, and sucks at flying. We always endeavour to make you smarter and more aware in a way that could potentially save your life one day, but this episode is just bizarre, even by our standards.
Gratitude. Excrement. Explanations and Updates. This entirely tiny episode has it all!. This minisode is actually my quick and candid explanation for my absence from the microphone - but you’ll also get to hear a quick story about rich people drowning terribly, a few teasers about upcoming episodes, and my promise that we’ll be back on the air before you know it. If you like the idea of your podcast hosts wearing more than duct tape and bits of old Halloween costumes for clothes and can spare a buck or two, you can now buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/doomsday.
There’s always been a lot of pressure to have an unforgettable time on New Years’ Eve. Today’s story promises to be unforgettable – so dig out your dancing shoes, party whistles and funeral kazoos - this is the New Years’ Baby of disaster stories. Put on your dancing shoes and update your will. We’re heading to Bangkok to ring in the new year. On this episode we will describe flaming scalps and skin sloughing off and crush injuries and dislocated spines - so yes, things will not go well - but they will make you smarter and more aware. Anything we can do to potentially one-day save a life, and our work is done. On that note, check your smoke detector batteries.

Today’s episode is about a disaster so potent it would kill you today as easy as it would kill your descendants 35,000 years from now. And although this episode will be light on actual gore, we will be talking about an awful lot of human organs turning into cancer. But nothing too aggregious. A lot of ignorant but pioneering scientists with brave ideas and bubbling skin had to die for us to learn how dangerous today’s topic can be. Yes, this is another in our on-going series on nuclear mishaps and mayhem. Without spoiling anything, I can say that nuclear bombs have been struck by lightning, survived plane crashes, burned to the point of melting, smashed into the ground at super sonic speeds, dropped from an aircraft parked on a runway, crushed by oceanic depths and blown apart by the missiles they were attached to. If nothing else, it’s a testament to how well they are built and designed.

Today’s episode is basically a Public Service Announcement for future time travellers. Do not go back to Victorian England. Disease, murder, and stink around every corner. It’s hard to overestimate how terrible every facet of life was in Victorian England. On this episode we’re going to learn what it takes to turn a full size adult into a briquette. Why Jane Eyre stunk, and the best way to saw up a dead horse. I’ll give you a hint - time and bacteria work better than cutting tools alone. Work smarter, not harder. Well, would you rather be locked away for life against your will for no good reason and have Jack the Ripper as a cellie, do take your chances trying to escape during the worst fire you’ve ever seen? How many places do you know that have too many clients, spread over too large an area, being cared for by too few staff, with too little money and crumbling infrastructure? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? But seriously, we look down our noses at health care from a century ago like we’re so great. We’re not perfect. No one is. But as imperfect as it might be, mental health care has never been better.

On this episode we are going to learn why fighter jets – graceful and aerobatic though they may be – make terrible ground vehicles. You’ll also learn how to say run for your lives in Ukranian. We'll be celebrating unlucky episode number thirteen by describing burning jet fuel and debris spraying into a crowd, and something described as behaving “like a human lawn mower”. We’re considering putting out barf bags for our beloved Doomsday Cult Members, and this is the episode that inspired the idea. So, Air Shows huh? Nothing really funny or fun to say about them. They have a pretty good safety record, but on those rare occasions where something does go wrong, they are pure nightmare fuel.

This episode is a short one but a good one. What it lacks in bloodshed, it will make up for in patriotic razzmatazz and screaming. We are calling this our palate cleanser episode. In this episode you will hear about people screaming for their lives – nothing weird there. You’ll hear cheese grater used as a verb – that’s kind of new. All in all, this is our palate cleanser episode. You could pretty much play this one while eating or around kids – but there is a brief mention of masturbation – so there’s that. Fantastic is defined as imaginative, extraordinary, irrational, wild, absurd, implausible, far-fetched and unbelievable. We promised fireworks, and we hope you’ll agree, today’s story was short but fantastic.

 Paris is the city of lights and when you think of its non-tower based icons, the Moulin Rouge races to mind pretty easily. But Paris is a city with a long and troubled history. This is a place with six million skeletons in their sewer for crying out loud.
 We’re heading to South America to talk about a disaster so spectacular that over a thousand Americans recreate it in their own home every year. In this episode we will describe a deep fryer the size of a department store and flesh dripping from bodies like wax from a candle. In fact, this is the first episode we’ve done that requires two separate safety segments. This was another in our long line of bad-day-at-work stories, but also in the thread of disasters that could not have happened without a series of contributing factors all falling perfectly into line. We really played up fire safety. It’s because this is the first episode where all the ingredients for disaster are right there in your kitchen.
Jean Paul Sartre said Hell is other people, and he’s right. Commuting proves this true. But if you’ve ever been on a train and had someone clip their nails or fall asleep on you, the people of Australia think your complaints are adorable. If you enjoy the bucolic leisure of a train ride and arriving alive, this is not necessarily the episode for you. On this episode we’re going to talk about people awkwardly Tetrised around debris in the most claustrophobic situation possible, and others who compressed to the height of a business card. Fun fact: the actual fear of trains is called Siderodromophobia. Whether your fear is about crashing, or the lack of control, or they trigger other phobias like claustrophobia, social phobia or germ phobia, the easily rememberable and pronounceable Siderodromophobia has got you covered.

In India you can make prayers to any one of 33 different top tier deities. You may want to. This episode is a bit of a Russian Nesting Doll of suffocation and electrocution and explosions. In this episode we will describe people being electrocuted by goat blood soup. You will hear about an awful lot of death, and explosions, and fire, but don’t worry, because most of the deaths are caused by smothering and suffocation. If you remembered that crowds are more dangerous than sharks, you get a gold star. We are trained to fear things that are scary and flashy, but when you really boil down a disaster like this, its mundane circumstances building on top of each other.

In India you can make prayers to any one of 33 different top tier deities. You may want to. This episode is a bit of a Russian Nesting Doll of suffocation and electrocution and explosions. In this episode we will describe people being electrocuted by goat blood soup. You will hear about an awful lot of death, and explosions, and fire, but don’t worry, because most of the deaths are caused by smothering and suffocation. If you remembered that crowds are more dangerous than sharks, you get a gold star. We are trained to fear things that are scary and flashy, but when you really boil down a disaster like this, its mundane circumstances building on top of each other.

Grab your clan robes and your snow shovels, today we’re heading to the Nation’s capital. We’re going to see a movie so funny it actually brought the house down. No really, people died. If you want to complain about this episode or just need a hug or an apology, you can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. All episodes can be found at Anchor.fm/Doomsday or wherever podcasts are found.

If you Google “worst jobs” you’re going to see things like crime scene clean up and sewer diver, but compared to medieval bell ringer? At least sewer divers can be hosed down. Bell ringers had to be hosed off – like, every surface. In this episode you will hear about people superheating to five times the temperature of the surface of the sun before exploding. You’ll learn what a terrible job TV and movies have done teaching you about explosions, and you’ll also learn how to say stop, drop and roll in latin. I would really like to see the stained glass fresco depicting the events of this story. Also, spoiler, Stop Drop and Roll in Latin is Prohibere, et stilla volmine.

Riddle me this. I make intestines peek out of a belly. I make bone protrude from a fractured shin. I make blood spurt from a gash in the buttocks. What annual sporting event am I? Find out this week on Doomsday: History’s Most Dangerous Podcast. In this episode, you will hear about a man being carried around by a horn stabbed in through his neck and poking out his mouth. You’re even going to hear the only podcast with an interactive portion that lets you pretend your face is bisected to the point you could tuck your eyeholes over your ears. So dear listeners, we want to know what’s the most stitches you ever received in a single sitting? And while you’re at it, tell us how many severed thumbs out of five you would give this episode.

This episode is the disaster equivalent of one of those trick birthday candles that just won’t blow out. So if the idea of close, intimate contact with insects, arachnids and reptiles bothers you, today’s episode will bother you. A lot. In this episode you will hear-tell of a plague of terror being cleared away by cleansing mercy of a volcano and people voluntarily jumping into boiling water, on purpose, because it was the best of all available options. So dear listeners, would you rather: wear a coat of panicked insects and snakes or run with arms outstretched into the face a 1000 F pyroclastic flow?

There are over 400,000 caskets in Arlington National Cemetery, but only one is lined with lead, sealed under several feet of concrete and placed in a metal vault just to prevent it from killing you. In this episode we’ll describe the worst groin injury in the recorded history of medical science. You’ll learn how to autopsy a corpse from across a room, and you’re also going to hear Kool-Aid Man and Silkwood Shower both used as verbs. We hope you enjoy our episode on the world’s first peace time nuclear accident and the only fatal nuclear reactor accident in U.S. history. If you want to support the on-going production of the show, you can find us at www.patreon.com/funeralkazoo. If you’re after cool episode specific swag you’re welcome to visit www.evilreindeershop.com, but if can spare the money and had to choose, we ask you to consider making a donation to www.globalmedic.ca.

______________________________________________________________________________
THE CRITICS SPEAK
______________________________________________________________________________
SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
If you want to support the production of the show, you can find us on Patreon. If you’re after cool episode specific swag you’re welcome to visit our Disastore, but if can spare the money and had to choose, we ask you to consider making a donation to GlobalMedic. GlobalMedic is a rapid response agency of Canadian volunteers offering assistance around the world to aid in the aftermath of disaster and crises. They are often the first and sometimes only team to get critical interventions to people in life-threatening situations and to date they’ve helped 3.6 million people across 75 different countries. 
______________________________________________________________________________
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
Sleep Manuals: A How-To Guide To Sleep
Spilled Milk
Inventors of Death
↑Back to Top